I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
