Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
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Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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