All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
