I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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