I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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