you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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