How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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