Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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