So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
