I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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