She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
