Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Boobs are out for the taking
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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