How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So much Jack, so little girl.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize