my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize