hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
