a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
