I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You left your phone here
Wait...
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