id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
