She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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