I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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