Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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