booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
