peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The best revenge is premature balding
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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