Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
