so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize