.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
