alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
