I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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