return my video game
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
