garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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