dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
