Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
NoShamevember. You game?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
