just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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