we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
