I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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