No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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