I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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