She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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