idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
