The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
