We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
