ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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