i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
