I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
