i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
