Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
