i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize