Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
