I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
