when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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