TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
