We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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