She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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