He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
