Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
