Do vagina's smell?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
