so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
