Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize