I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
