I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
