all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
