I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
