its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
