I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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