Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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