Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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