Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
